Loving is NOT Owning

“Loving is not owning, you can let it go” , a familiar line from a famous song; but twas true loving is not just having that person for your own sake, true love is more than just that. I may not be an expert love guru, nor an experienced lover neither did I even had a serious and long-time relationship in the past, what I just had experienced is falling in love to a person whom I think can never feel the same for me. Our story is not the usually legal story that a DALAGANG PILIPINA would have, it is out of the box for our personalities are both unpredictable. The story is some sort-of inverted but one I am definitely sure that I did loved him dearly. I may have had a lot of downfalls during that time that I loved him, but I guess life is all about learning.

At first stance, I am not sure of what we really had a MAGULONG USAPAN as how some might define it. It was really magulo for we are both strangers to each other but the initial awkwardness easily vanished because of the connection that we have had established. Unfortunately the connection did not stand stable for a long time, disturbances and noise mingled in. I never realized that I’ve come to the point that I am already fooling myself of what he really is, sort of convincing myself that there’s nothing wrong though in reality nothing seems to be right anymore. The connection, the only thing that I hold on to, suddenly fooled me to being just a fantasy or some sort of being in a virtual world.

I never stopped though I was already hurting big time, I never realized that I was already sacrificing too much for something that I’m not even sure if “is existing”. I got myself things, reasons and people to distract me, but the way was not that just right that made things even more complicated. Concealing a problem with another problem was it, and I was just so wrong that until now as I look down is still very much regretful of me.

Nothing was right, and now I am so much aching that I can’t let go of those burdens for I know that until now I STILL AM INLOVE with someone that I had created out of my desire of owning the ONE.